Within today and tomorrow I must do a write-up for my resume. Actually it has been rather long-delayed because I feel somewhat overwhelmed when asked to describe why I desire to be with special children. I hope I am writing it with my utmost honesty.
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“Normal”, or rather, typical people are inclined to deem special children and adults as “different” and “abnormal”. We think of them as “strangers”, or the others, who live in another world of their own. For ones who are severely defected, they are like prisoners who are caught behind the bars of their own deformation, both physical and mental. We either sympathize or pity them even more in knowing that many are not aware of the bondage of their own deformation. Many cannot hide their weaknesses and are therefore easy victims of pity or ridicule.
I too realize I am too a “prisoner”, caught behind the bars of my own weaknesses and limitations or idiosyncrasies. Being imprisoned by one’s own limitations can be very discouraging and confusing, and one feels helpless about it. Truly, the redemption comes by often when there is acceptance from others of me and my limited and peculiar self. That is when I am made not only more aware and accepting of myself, but also given a space to grow despite of my weaknesses. Also, with this realization, I know I have to be more readily accepting of others who might be weak or considered different than me.
In being with special children, I hope I will be given the honor of giving and returning what I have been blessed with: acceptance and space to grow.
I have heard and seen how dressing, walking, speaking, eating, drinking, taking a shower, being able to learn, and all the seemingly mundane tasks of life are the main “accomplishments” for some of the special children. I imagine that if I were them, and live in such a country like Singapore which emphasizes on how much one can do and produce, life can be extremely frustrating.
In being with special children, I hope I can grow to be thankful of life much more: that life, in its breathing and moving and being, is a gift which I receive, and is not what I deserve nor achieve by my own merits.
It has been the common presumption and hard to imagine how special children without an able mind or an able body, a productive job, can be regarded as “useful”. But having lived with a down-syndrome uncle for a long time, I experienced how his presence in our family has blessed us and friends who knew our family. What for “normal” people often remain veiled behind rationalizations, preoccupations and fears of being rejected or manipulated, is for my uncle something readily given. One of them was his spontaneity in expressing his joy to be around us with embraces and kisses. Also, his enthusiasm in making friends and how sincere-to-goodness way he tried to make friends. Another was how he was not ashamed to make known of his need and dependency. In it, he taught every one of us not to rely on our own self-sufficiency.
Remembering this, instead of teaching and training the special kids, I believe they can be teachers to me by many of their simple ways.
